It is too hard to say goodbye

Sorry for the delay since my last post. I haven't had much time to spend on the internet lately so that is why I have not been able to write for almost 2 weeks.

I was supposed to leave Monze last Monday, March 9th to go to Tanzania and South Africa for my last 2 weeks of traveling, but I decided that there is way too much for me to do here in Monze to get the school building project off the ground. Plus, I was no where near ready to say goodbye to my new extended family here in Monze. At my going away party my friends all convinced me that I cannot leave yet. Therefore, I went to Mazabuka (the next big town to Monze which is one hour away) to get my visa extended for one more month. I am planning on being home on April 30th instead of end of March now.

There are many different people I need to get involved with building the school to make sure we do it right. One of the most important tasks is making sure we have a legal deed for the land that we are building on. We were told from the School Coordinators that the land where they want to build the school has been donated to them from the man that owns the land. Well, there has been a huge problem in Zambia with so-called "donated" land to build homes, schools, offices, etc... People say they are donating land and then once you have constructed the building then they tell you that you owe them rent for the building. Many people have lost their homes after they spent their life savings because they didn't go through the proper legal process. It is obviously the law in the Western world to have a deed for land and buildings, but for many towns in Zambia these types of legal processes barely exist. Therefore, I have set up a meeting with the Council Chairman of Monze to go over all the legalities of getting the deed for the land so we will own the land that the school will be built on. Additionally, I will spend my next few weeks meeting with distributors of sand, cement, brick and all the miscellaneous materials to build the school to make sure we get the best prices. We are also encouraging the community of Kalundu to get involved in help build the school and donate their services to help fund the school. For example, we are working with an organization PADIC to donate sewing machines and materials for the women of Kalundu to sew and sell in the market. Also, there are many farmers in the village that can supply the food for the school lunches at a very small cost. Even the kids of the school can help with the gardening which will be good for them and the school.

There are so many things that I have been observing in Monze that it is hard to keep track of everything and be able to write about it when I am only online a few times a week. Therefore, I will give you some miscellaneous updates.

There were a couple of holidays last week. Last Monday Zambia celebrated the international holiday of Women's Day. Zambian President Rupiah Banda declared this year to be the year that "Women and men unite to end violence against women and girls." Women are incredibly strong in Zambia and they carry such an immense amount of responsibility and pride for their families, communities and homes. Even if they only have a grass hut for a home they are constantly cleaning and sweeping the yard to make sure it looks the best. I can assume that when you have to really work for what you have that you develop a much different sense of survival and pride. Another responsibility is that women are expected to take care of their children pretty much 100% of the time. In fact, men are almost never seen even carrying their child. In fact, I have only seen one man carrying his baby on his back in a wrap. Although, that incident didn't come without controversy. I heard a man arguing with him as I was walking past him. I didn't understand what he was saying because they were speaking in Tonga. Chembe, my fellow coach told me that the man was yelling at him for carrying his baby and that his wife who was behind him should be carrying the baby. I wanted to stand up for the man and woman, but I decided to keep my big American mouth shut!

Another interesting fact is that women are always required to wear pants, dresses or skirts that are long enough to over their knees, but they consistently have their breasts displayed openly to breast feed their babies. I was surrounded by 3 women breast feeding openly on my bus ride to Lusaka last week. Breasts are looked at as a functional part of the body and covering your knees is more of a conservative tradition since Zambia is a very Christian country.

Additionally, women do all the food shopping and cooking of all the meals. It is funny to see a women all dressed up in their pretty dresses and carrying a huge load of vegetables and millet meal (the main ingredient for shima) on their heads and also carrying a live chicken by their wings in her hands. Women also are the ones who cut the chicken's necks. They don't like to buy the chickens from the butchery because they like to eat the head and feet. That way they get the most for their money.

The other holiday was Youth Day. It was a huge day for the children of Monze and for BSI. We marched in the parade with the kids which was a fun experience. All the kids from every school/village in Monze put on a performance. It was hilarious to watch some of these kids dance and sing. One school had the boys dress up like girls and dance like girls. I have to say they could shake their booties even better than the girls! - well not better than Action Jackson though...ha ha..

2 new volunteers for BSI started last week. Tarney who is 19 (going on 35) and is from Sydney but lives in Hong Kong currently and Chris who is 35 and he lives in England. They are both incredibly smart and sweet. We are having such a great time together. It has been fun helping them get acclimated into the Monze way of life. There are so many things that I wish I knew when I first came to make my life easier which I have passed on to them. They have told me that they are very thankful that I decided to stay longer in Monze so I could give them so many helpful pointers.

The Monze Hospital is one place I hope I never have to be admitted into while I am still here in Monze. Man! It was a horror show when I went there a couple weeks ago to take Con, a 12 year old boy there because he had a very serious eye infection. Con is one of the boys who we teach sports to and I was very concerned when I saw his right pupil which was pretty much all white and he has dark brown eyes. It was very hard to look at. I went to talk to his parents about what happened and they said a metal piece went into his eye about 4 years ago and they took him to Lusaka to get the metal removed, but that in the last year it started to get infected again. They didn't take him to the hospital because they thought they would not be able to afford it. I told them that I could take Con to see my friend Mike who is a volunteer doctor from England at the Monze clinic. The next day I met Con and his parents at the hospital to check out his eye. Unfortunately, the infection is so deep that it has severely damaged his cornea and retina, so he will never be able to see again in that eye. The good news is that his left eye is very strong so he is able to see well enough that he doesn't even need glasses. It was unbelievable to watch this boy be told that he will not see again in his right eye again and just look at us with concern without saying a word. I told Con that the good news is that his left eye is stronger than most people's 2 eyes - including mine. He looked at me and said "that is good news." He is such a sweet and strong boy. The one thing I suggested to his parents is that I could try to get him brown colored contact lens so that at least his eye will look better. I will buy them when I get back and mail them to him.

Since I was supposed to go to Tanzania for a safari last weekend I ended up going to a safari in Zambia instead. I can't leave Africa without seeing the big 5! I went to South Luangwa National Park in Mfuwe, Zambia for 3 nights and 4 days. It is in the Eastern Province of Zambia and has been rated as the most majestic Safari Parks in all of Africa. I stayed at the Mfuwe Lodge which was fabulous! Check it out at: http://www.mfuwelodge.com/ They are famous for the elephants walking right through the lodge to the mango tree on the other side of the lodge. I didn't get to see them do that because they only do that in the months of October and November.

My tour guide Manda was incredibly passionate and knowledgeable about all the mammals, reptiles, birds, trees, flowers, etc. He actually won the best tour guide in the world from a tour magazine in 2004. I was incredibly lucky to have him as my personal tour guide. We had such a wonderful 4 days together. We saw tons of elephants, lions, zebras, baboons, monkeys, impalas, pukus, hippos, giraffes, leopards, buffaloes, warhogs, bushbacks and about 60 different types of birds. The only animal of the big 5 SLNP doesn't have is the rhino. I will hopefully see a rhino in Kruger Nat'l Park, S.A. next month. I got a great video of a big male lion and his 2 cubs devouring an impala! At the same time I was taping the lions a huge crocodile was coming up behind our jeep to go after the impala meat. The big lion started growling and grabbed the carcass and ran down the road. The wild thing is that the crocodile probably would have won the fight if he got to the impala before the lion ran off. Manda told me that sometimes lions and crocodiles will share the meat when a lion makes the kill. The reason being is that the lion respects the fact that if he tries to fight the croc he might lose the fight and the croc respects the fact that the lion is the one who caught the animal. One animal I wished I didn't see is a HUGE baboon spider (it looks like a black widow) which was in my bathroom in my chalet! I panicked and couldn't move because I had closed the bathroom door before I knew it was there and it crawled right in front of the door blocking me from getting out! I didn't know what type of spider it was at the time, all I knew it was HUGE and I hate spiders!!! So, I threw a towel over it and it crawled right under it away from the door and I ran out the door and closed the door. I had a lovely night of sleep after that - yeah right!

Manda was given a decent amount of money for his award and he could have used the money for himself, more education in his field of work or giving back to his community and environment. He is such a good man that he choose to give back to his community and environment with buying a bunch of solar cookers to give to the poor in his village to save firewood. If you are not as familiar with them check them out at: http://solarcookers.org/ It has turned out to be such a big success that he is looking into being a distributor of them, but the problem is that coal is so cheap to buy in Africa and these solar cookers cost about $20 which most people will not have that amount of discretionary income to buy them. It always comes back to the lack of money to do anything that will improve the lifestyles of Africans.

Manda is such an amazing person and also a very talented artist. I am having him paint me a picture of Africa which he will mail to me. I have been looking for a painting for my living room ever since I moved into my condo over 3 years ago! I guess I have been holding that spot for the perfect picture. I can't think of a better picture to have than one from my new friend Manda. I am excited to be able to have a memory of amazing Africa every day.

I had another scary encounter on my way home from Mfuwe. I had to take a 2 hour flight on a small 12 seater plane back to Lusaka from Mfuwe. Well, we ran into a HUGE thunder, lightening and rain storm and the turbulence was SOOO bad that everyone on the flight was holding on for dear life and no one said a word for over an hour. It was pitch dark out and the lightening was SO close to us that the lightening was going off every 3-5 seconds! That means it is practically on top of us. We could also see the pilots struggling to hold the steering wheels steady. I really don't like being able to have that close access to what the pilots are dealing with. It added a whole other level of fear when we see the pilots having concerns. I will tell you that I realized that mom was right - maybe I should have developed my will before I left for Africa. I was seriously thinking about what would happen if I died with no will. It was THE scariest flight I have ever taken. Well, thank GOD I am safe and sound and back in Monze!

The Differences between African and American Way of Life

Last Friday, I was invited to be a guest on the one and only radio station in Monze. You know you are in a remote area of the world when only one radio station comes in even on your short wave radio. The DJ and Radio Host Machamandu wanted to interview me on his "Friends of Our Country" radio show. Machamandu asked me questions about how I would compare Zambian way of life to America. We discussed the differences between our food, weather, friendships, the courtships between men and women, marriage, children and other facets of our different cultures. When Machamandu asked me if I was married and had children and I said "no" he could not even hold back on his shock. It was like I told him I have never been with a man before. He couldn't believe that a woman at my age wouldn't have at least 5 children by now. It is not comprehensible to most people here because throughout most of the African countries the most important purpose in their lives is getting married and having many children.

I had several in depth conversations with a few of my new guy friends who were born and raised in Zambia and they told me that they were raised to get married at a young age and their parents would tell them which families they should marry into. It isn't as strict as the arranged marriages in India, but it is similar. They went on to tell me that they were not necessarily "in love" with their wives at first, but they built on a friendship and parenthood bond that they feel is much stronger than the feeling of being madly in love with someone. I think I have been watching too many romance movies because even though I agree that a good friendship is an important element to a solid relationship/marriage, I also thought that being in love with someone is the most important ingredient to a great relationship/marriage. I am beginning to think that it might not be a bad idea to instill some of the African beliefs.

The biggest observation of cultural differences I have had is watching the kids play. Even though the kids here have next to nothing for material belongings in addition to not having any shoes and hardly enough food and water, they are always smiling, laughing and generally very happy. I hardly hear any of the children cry. If a child hurts themselves playing, he/she will put their head down and cry to themselves for a few mins and then pick themselves up wipe their own tears and go back to playing and laughing again. It is like they have learned naturally to not dwell on the negative and focus on the positive. It is amazing to see the pure joy in these kids faces and realize that they don't have anywhere near what our kids have access to in America. I guess ignorance is bliss in their case. The volunteers at BSI are the only ones that provide the kids with any sporting equipment. They don't even have one soccer ball to play futbol with. They end up making their own balls from bags and grass. It is so sad to take the ball away from all those kids when we are done playing with them at the end of the day. The good news is we just got a donation of 100 soccer balls and 100 t-shirts from Nike. The kids are so excited that we will be able to leave them with one ball in each compound to play with when we are not there to play with them. I have posted some of the pictures we took of them with all the balls.

Another big difference is that there is no such thing as credit or loans in most of Zambia. "No Cash, No Purchase". Maybe America should think about that concept. We might not be in the economic crisis we are in if we had that policy. Okay - I realize that is far fetched and without credit there would be no growth.

Shifting gears to some miscellaneous updates from my life in Monze. On Saturday, I went for a long run and I felt like Forrest Gump because many kids started running along with me and the amount of kids grew larger as the run went on. It was such a fun experience to see all those kids looking at me and smiling. I had a huge smile on my face the whole run. I can honestly say that is the best run I have ever had in my life.

On a scary note, I saw a snake on my walk home yesterday and I almost freaked out. Thank God I just turned around and walked away from it. What helped me remain calm is that I just had a long conversation with my friend Perry who told me what to do when I see certain types of snakes. We talked about it because my neighbor Marina had to kill 3 snakes in her backyard in the last 2 weeks. She said one was a cobra and the other 2 she thinks were black mumbas - which is the deadliest snake in the world. Those snakes come out mostly in the raining season. Thankfully, the snake I saw was neither it was probably a grass snake, but Perry told me it was a snake that can still bite you and you would need to get medical attention within 30 minutes to survive. I sure hope I do not see another snake while I am in Africa. I don't care what kind it is there is nothing I am more scared of than snakes! I think it is because when I was young I saw my dad get bitten by a snake and it was a horrifying experience for a young girl to go through.

As for the Kalundu OVC school project, we met with the school coordinators and the volunteer teachers yesterday. It was a very productive meeting. Francis, BSI Founder and I gave them the priorities to focus on first for building out the school. They have great vision, but they are going to need our management and business experience to organize the production of that school. It is going to be a long term process and we need to manage their expectations that they are not going to get everything all at once. It will take a year or longer to build this school out to provide for 400+ kids. They understand that this will be a long term relationship. What is great is that Francis has committed to me that BSI and all the 20+ volunteers will be managing this project when I go back to the US. So, all the money will be organized through Francis (who I trust with my life). He lives and breathes for helping kids. It is wonderful to see someone as passionate as he is for something that is helping so many people. As we were leaving the school all the kids starting running after us and wanting to hold our hands and say thank you. It was so cute when one of the school girls pulled me aside to personally thank me for buying her the school books and that she said that she will be sure to study hard. Thank you again for all of you who have donated. The kids will want to send you a thank you letter. So, send along your address to me via email.

In summary, what I have observed in the past 4 weeks is that even though the people of Zambia don't have any where near our material and financial wealth, they are incredibly rich spiritually and with their inner joy and happiness which is more important than any material or financial wealth.